As a stay-at-home mom, I think it's fair to say that every day is Mother's Day. I don't need one day of the year for the kids to lavish me with attention because, they lavish with me attention at least 12 hours a day. For better or for worse.
And as for gifts, spending 12 hours a day with them is a gift. For better or for worse.
So, this Sunday, on the one day of the year that is designated as Mother's Day, I propose the following, not-so-traditional, but totally awesome gifts for a stay-at-home mom.
1) Peace and quiet while in the bathroom.
My kids love the bathroom. I don't know why, but if someone's in there -- whether taking a shower or sitting on the can -- they have to come charging in and bang around. One starts opening drawers and cupboards, the other tries to flush the toilet 14 times. And God forbid you lock the door before they have a chance to get in!
So, this Sunday, I'd like to take a shower in peace and quiet. This means that no one is a) banging on the door; b) crying at the door; c) opening the door; d) throwing toys or other assorted items in the tub with me; e) trying to flush the toilet.
Actually, what I'd really love is a hot bubble bath, a glass of wine and a book. But that might be asking for too much peace and quiet. Because have I mentioned how much my children love being in the bathroom?
2) New clothes that don't yet have puke, snot, spit, ketchup or other assorted stains them.
I'm not asking for much -- just a chance to buy some new t-shirts from a cheapie store. I mean, they're just going to get stained within 2.2 minutes anyway.
3) Pretty toes.
I'm going to wear sandals this summer... a lot. And while wearing said sandals, my feet are not going to be hiding under a desk at an office downtown. They're going to be on full display at playgrounds and wading pools across the neighbourhood. All the other moms are going to see them. So, they have to look good.
And as for gifts, spending 12 hours a day with them is a gift. For better or for worse.
So, this Sunday, on the one day of the year that is designated as Mother's Day, I propose the following, not-so-traditional, but totally awesome gifts for a stay-at-home mom.
1) Peace and quiet while in the bathroom.
My kids love the bathroom. I don't know why, but if someone's in there -- whether taking a shower or sitting on the can -- they have to come charging in and bang around. One starts opening drawers and cupboards, the other tries to flush the toilet 14 times. And God forbid you lock the door before they have a chance to get in!So, this Sunday, I'd like to take a shower in peace and quiet. This means that no one is a) banging on the door; b) crying at the door; c) opening the door; d) throwing toys or other assorted items in the tub with me; e) trying to flush the toilet.
Actually, what I'd really love is a hot bubble bath, a glass of wine and a book. But that might be asking for too much peace and quiet. Because have I mentioned how much my children love being in the bathroom?
2) New clothes that don't yet have puke, snot, spit, ketchup or other assorted stains them.I'm not asking for much -- just a chance to buy some new t-shirts from a cheapie store. I mean, they're just going to get stained within 2.2 minutes anyway.
3) Pretty toes.
I'm going to wear sandals this summer... a lot. And while wearing said sandals, my feet are not going to be hiding under a desk at an office downtown. They're going to be on full display at playgrounds and wading pools across the neighbourhood. All the other moms are going to see them. So, they have to look good.
4) Flowers.
Sounds traditional and expensive but not when they come from my three-year-old and one-year-old. As a kid, I remember how proud of myself I was when I'd bring my mom flowers picked from the front lawn. And she'd act all happy and put the pretty yellow blooms in a glass of water on the table. Yup, hint, hint, nudge, nudge. Send the kids out front to pick me some dandelions for Mother's Day. That'll melt my heart and I'll proudly display them at the centre of the table.
So there you go. I don't need big gifts, expensive meals and hours of being doted on by my family. I just need some stain-free clothes, a chance to show off my feet, some beautiful yellow flowers and the ability to pee in peace.
Sounds traditional and expensive but not when they come from my three-year-old and one-year-old. As a kid, I remember how proud of myself I was when I'd bring my mom flowers picked from the front lawn. And she'd act all happy and put the pretty yellow blooms in a glass of water on the table. Yup, hint, hint, nudge, nudge. Send the kids out front to pick me some dandelions for Mother's Day. That'll melt my heart and I'll proudly display them at the centre of the table.
So there you go. I don't need big gifts, expensive meals and hours of being doted on by my family. I just need some stain-free clothes, a chance to show off my feet, some beautiful yellow flowers and the ability to pee in peace.
1 comment:
This was really funny, Deb. I laughed out loud quite a few times while reading it! Happy Mother's Day...and by the way, thanks for the yellow flowers - I really did like them!
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