Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The cure for annoying children

I got a lot of great presents this past Christmas. New sheets for my bed, a beautiful pottery platter and bowl, some good books and two magazine subscriptions.

But nothing can compare to the small little gift Ryan put in my stocking.

We didn't do presents for each other this year, just stockings -- and we set a budget of $50 each -- so it was really just token gifts to each other. Well, tied in a pretty Christmas bow at the bottom of my stocking were two bottles of Baileys (my favourite drink). Not regular sized bottles -- the teeny tiny ones you find by the cash.

Attached to the bottles was a note that read:

The cure for Annoying Children.
Step 1: Open bottle
Step 2: Drink
Step: 3 Wait 15 minutes. If annoying children persist repeat step 1 and 2.
If problem remains find a bigger bottle.

(Now, does my husband know me or does he know me?)

This evening, I cracked open bottle number 1.

I have a rule I stick to as a stay-at-home mom, no drinking -- no matter how bad a day I'm having -- until Ryan gets home. Unless he is working late or isn't coming home that evening -- then I get to have a drink at or after dinner, if necessary.

By 7 p.m. today, the kids were annoying me in a way only an almost 4 year old and almost 2 year old can do. They weren't fighting with each other, they weren't pissing each other off, they weren't yelling, screaming or throwing tantrums (yet). They were just plain pissing me off. And it had been going on all day.

So, after dinner (of which, Austin refused to eat because he declared he would only eat if I served pancakes or meatballs -- to which I answered 'fine then, don't eat') while the kids were being obnoxiously, ear-piercingly loud in the other room, I cleaned up the kitchen and put Ryan's dinner in the fridge (because he was working late). Then I poured cure number 1 into a glass, put my feet up on a chair with banana muffin ground into the cushion and drank while staring at the spaghetti on the wall.

Damn it was good. It was four whole minutes of bliss. And when I was done, this kids were almost a little less annoying.


Blasé said...

You should bottle-up that "cure" and sell it!

tiger said...


I LOVE YOU said...