Luckily, Ryan doesn't go out of town often. But he's out of town this week.
And although I'm on my own every Monday to Friday from the time the kids wake up until 6 p.m., somehow, knowing that he's hundreds of miles away makes the days just tick by so slowly.
I don't know why that is, really. Because the difference is only two hours -- it's only two extra hours I have alone with the kids that I wouldn't have if he were coming home as usual at dinner. But somehow, those two hours can make the entire day feel long.
What weird is that I don't feel this way if Ryan's just working late, or it's volleyball night and he's going straight there from work. I only feel like the days last forever when he's out of town.
I think that when Ryan's away, it just throws my routine off. I'm pretty set in my ways -- it's the best way I know how to keep my sanity as a stay-at-home mom. Every day, I drop the kids off at school, do whatever it is I need to do for a few hours, pick them up, have lunch, do stuff in the afternoon with them and then -- as it gets on to be 5 o'clock, I'm already thinking about making dinner and the fact that Ryan will be home soon. Maybe that's it. Here it is, getting on to be 5 o'clock and I know there's still 3 more hours to fill before bedtime. Part of my mentality of stir-craziness and the need to fill the time I think stems from the fact that the kids are also used to a certain routine. And they miss the fact that daddy isn't coming home at dinner time.
So, since Monday, I've been working hard to fill my days and fill my evenings. We've been to the library and visited Santa at the mall (just to say 'hi'), we've been to the Science Centre (just for an hour before close -- which by the way, is the perfect time to go) and we've had movie afternoons and yesterday after dinner, my neighbour came over with her kids for an hour. We've done a lot actually, but I still feel like I need to fill my time or I'll go crazy.
Or they'll kill each other.
(But I'll quit my whining now. This out-of-town trip wasn't exactly pre-planned, but you can't plan life. Just a few more days (I hope) and life will go back to normal.)