Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Don't look back

I've been feeling nostalgic these last few days. Nostalgic and even a little bit down -- which in all, is making me feel completely unmotivated to do anything.

I couldn't really pinpoint what was bothering me and why I was feeling this way. Until this morning, when I friend posted this on her Facebook wall.

And suddenly, I realized 'that was it'. For some reason, I've been spending the last few days looking back. Looking back to a time when my kids were babies.When life was simpler yet way more hectic at the same time.

This morning (about half an hour before I saw this picture) I was waiting outside the preschool with Alex. And as she was playing with a friend in the hallway, I had a flashback of Austin doing the same two years earlier. And suddenly I missed that three-year-old boy.

Yesterday, as I drove by the library that we rarely go to anymore (the farther one, we tend to walk to the closer one now), Austin said to me, "mommy, why don't we go there anymore?". And I found myself thinking about how I used to go there because I would push the two of them in the double stroller and it was a good excuse for me to get some exercise and a good excuse to pass a few hours out of the house.

So I guess I've been looking back. And missing the past. And missing my babies.

And no, I'm not saying I'm missing my babies enough to have another one. I'm just saying when the hell did my babies become 6 and almost 4! And have I really been home full time for almost 4 years?!

But seeing that picture this morning reminded me to stop looking back, stop feeling down, stop missing the past and to keep looking forward. That's the only direction life is going -- and there's a hell of a lot to look forward to as my babies get older.


Shell said...

It's hard not to look back some!

Jen@ADropintheBucket said...

I love that quote, and know how you feel. It is hard to stop looking at the past. So that you are realizing that is what you have been doing is an awesome thing.