Years ago, Ryan and I had 'the kid talk'. You know, the how-many-kids-do-you-want-to-have talk. It came down to this: he felt that two kids was a good number, I felt that three kids was a good number. So, we did what any sensible couple would do in that situation -- we decided to have two kids and then figure it out.
Well, we have two kids. I guess that means it's time to make a decision.
We did sort of make a decision about a year ago -- and that was that we weren't ready to make a decision yet. In other words, although I was pregnant with Alex by the time Austin was 17 months old, there was no way in hell we were going to have a third child that quickly. The idea of having a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old and a newborn was, quite frankly, quite terrifying.
And so, since Alex's second birthday is just around the corner, there is no chance of that scenario (even accidentally) coming to fruition.
Yet a decision still hasn't been made. And although I'm not too old for any of this just yet -- I'm not exactly getting any younger either. The longer we wait to make a decision, the older I get.
(Now, for the record, the indecision is in my court at the moment. Since I’m the one who initially wanted three, I need to start the ball rolling again and say, ‘yes, I want another kid, how do you feel about that?’ The problem is, I don’t know if I want three kids anymore. Two is a pretty big handful at the moment.)
But in these days, weeks, months and years of indecision -- my house is quickly filling up with stuff that I don't know what to do with. Kid stuff. Kid clothes that are too small and kid toys that are too babyish. Because unlike some people I know who are absolutely, without a doubt, done after two kids and simply selling and giving away all their stuff -- I don't know if another little one may one day need this stuff.
And so I keep the mountain of stuff and lend it out where it's needed. But rather than being able to let it all go, I ask for it back...just in case.
Sooner or later, a decision is going to have to be made. Not because I'm getting older. Not because if we have three kids it would be nice to keep the baby years somewhat close together. But because I'm running out of space to put all this unused baby stuff.