Thursday, March 26, 2009

I think I've made my decision...maybe

The title should say it all; I'm 100 per cent behind the decision I've made about my stay-at-home vs go-back-to-work dilemma.

I'm going back.

And now I have exactly 4 weeks to get an open mind about it. Because if I don't have an open mind then I'm just going to hate it by default and then what's the point of going back in the first place?

And what is the point, when I really do want to stay home with the kids? Well, that's the million dollar question that I've been struggling with for a week and a half. And the answer is I feel like I need to go back to see if I want to stay home because I'm just comfortable doing so and don't want to go to work every day or if I want to stay home because I really do want to spend 12 hours a day with my kids and pick up my career in 4 or 5 years. (And I mean 12 hours because lately, Austin is Mr. I Don't Want To Nap So I Won't. As I write this, he is upstairs in his room singing Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs and banging on the wall instead of napping. At least Alex is sleeping through it.)

It's been a tough week for me trying to figure out what to do. I talked to a lot of people -- some who have been or who are stay-at-home moms and others who made the decision to go back. Both helped me argue each option equally well.

So, four weeks from today, I'll be sitting in my cubicle like a deer caught in headlights willing myself to have an open mind about being at work. Who knows, maybe I'll even like it.


Cheryl said...

Deb: if you go back now andchange your mind you can always leave; if you turn down the return to work and change your mind ina few months you'll have to job hunt. I think you made the right choice going back to work although it was not easy. I know that I struggle everyday to try and spend quality time with Josh after working 10-11 hours (especially since bed is 7:30 as we get up at 5:00am.) Take care

Anonymous said...

Who said life was easy. All we can hope for is that it is fun, with new and different adventures.